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Until my brother Mike came homeChristina had asked me several times since I had made that decision, if I was sure that it was really something I wanted. My response to her question had never changed. I wanted everyone to know the truth. I really liked being with Christina, and I just didn't care whether or not she was a genetic woman. But that didn't mean there weren't a few worries and concerns here and there. I just felt it best to deal with those thoughts if, and when, they presented themselves. We had not yet had actual sex together... which left me wondering exactly how that would even come about when the time came. What played on my mind the most was the fact that I had given her oral sex, and I had very much enjoyed it. So, what did that mean for the two of us when we actually decided to go all the way? Once again... these were questions I decided to deal with when they became more than just questions.I waited until that Monday night before finally deciding it was the right. I'd also have to stop looking in the mirror for a while.I took a long shower Saturday morning. All of the thinking I didn't do the night before was catching up to me, and I spent the first ten minutes of my shower simply staring off into space, thinking about Aaron. I couldn't help thinking about it. It was like I was suddenly remembering random moments with him, from our first kiss to losing my shorts at the swim park, to the way he'd looked at me last night and said those things; and I relived the emotions that went with every event. I wondered if that was normal for a breakup. Honestly, I didn't really care for it. I didn't like thinking about it. It was over, there was no doubt in my mind about that. I just wished that it being over, meant that I was over it.But, I wasn't over it. Not by a long shot. I wasn't just not over any good feelings I might have had for him, I wasn't over the bad, either. But, why would I be? I reasoned that it had just happened the night before. It was.
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